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Thursday, August 18, 2011

I Heart Fad Diets

Bonnie claims that her favorite bloggers are "witty and simple." I can't help but wonder if Bonnie, the girl that made up an entire book- plot, characters, cover, illustrations and all- just to avoid reading a new book, actually follows blogs... but that is neither here nor there.

So Bonz, witty and simple. Hmm....

I can't promise wit but I can promise simple. I want to discuss my relationship with fad diets.

I've dated fad diets on and off for many years.

First there was Atkins. Atkins and I had a great 2 week fling. I looked great with Atkins, but I just wasn't willing to make a long-term commitment to Atkins and neither were my arteries. So after the two weeks, I went to the senior prom and left Atkins for carbs.

Then, I met the South Beach Diet, which is basically Atkins but a little fruitier and with some occasional whole grains. South Beach and I are still good friends.

Next, my mom tried out LA Weightloss. On LA Weightloss you have to eat cantaloupe and beef jerky for a whole day once a week for cleansing purposes. Drew- you thought I just loved the cantaloupe/beef jerky combo... but now you know the truth!

In college, I decided to take a few notes from the wrestlers in my life. I brushed my teeth whenever I was hungry. I lived on water and avoided pickles. I even cut holes in garbage bags and wore them underneath my sweatshirt when I went on morning runs. (I had to run really early so no one would hear the swooshing of the garbage bag under my sweatshirt! haha)

This year I tried out the Healthy Figures Diet, which was one of the oddest diets I've dabbled with. On Healthy Figures you can only eat lean meat, eggs and 500 calories a day; BUT you can eat UNLIMITED sugar-free jello, sugar-free popsicles and pickles! I mean, how awesome is that?

Three weeks ago I signed up for Weight Watchers online. Turns out... that only works if you actually count your points every single day and stay within your daily point allowance...

If only exercise wasn't so much work.
If only wine wasn't so wonderful.
If only fad diets worked!


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