Last night I went to drop off my ring to be fully cleaned before the wedding. What started out innocently enough turned into a full blown spending spree.
Drew and I hadn’t planned to add a wedding band because my ring already looks like it has two bands, so I didn’t think a third band was necessary.
But I mean, I was in the jewelry store... so I thought, “what’s the harm in looking?” I casually started peering through the glass and pretty soon one thing led to another and I had not one, but TWO bands at the register. (The lady told me I shouldn’t wait for an anniversary for the second band because there is never a guarantee the matching band will still be in stock. And besides, as the salesclerk poignantly observed, I would need both rings to give the set symmetry.)
Then, I called a choreographer who puts together mash-ups of upbeat love songs and choreographs first dances for couples. I made an appointment for 10:30 on Friday. I thought this would be a great surprise date for Drew.
I got home feeling satisfied with all my “accomplishments”. First, I told Drew about the rings. Needless to say, this did not go over well. We talked it out and now I am back to the original ring with no bands. Drew told me he understood that I was stressed, but that I needed to stop adding things to the wedding because it only increases the expenses and the stress.
I then began reflecting on my “accomplishments” and started seriously questioning whether or not Drew would really enjoy the surprise I had planned for us on Friday morning.
I took a deep breath, hit redial, and told Drew what I had done. Here is how that conversation went:
“You did what?” (Said through clenched teeth, trying unsuccessfully to mask his exasperation)
“I made us an appointment with a choreographer on Friday morning.”
“Amanda, the wedding is in two weeks, you really think we have times to pull this off?”
(full of confidence and false hope, said with the enthusiasm of a chearleader) “Well, he said he records the moves so if we practice, we can do it!!!!”
“Amanda, we took dance lessons and we were horrible, remember?”
(Feeling dejected and hoping that if I pouted Drew would cave and go with me.) “Fine, I’ll just text him and cancel the whole thing.”
“You are texting him? What kind of business is this? Where did you find this guy?”
(Still hoping I could guilt him into it...) “ I just thought it would be so special if we did a choreographed dance honey....”
“No, I’m sorry but I’m putting my foot down. I know this is one of your bridezilla dreams but I am not doing a choregraphed dance. In the future, we can take more lessons and it will be relaxing and fun, but I am just not doing a choreographed dance at the wedding.”
(long pause... or if you will... pregnant pause)
“So, you are saying I should cancel right?” I really made him spell it out for me. This was really just my last ditch effort to guilt him into going with me.
So basically, I didn’t really accomplish anything last night. I do feel better though and I sure am glad I didn’t tack an additional $1,500 onto our budget in diamonds and choreography.
- an engaged woman prone to spontaneous breakdowns, hysterical fits of laughter and panic attacks. Bridezillas are often an amalgamation of negative adjectives such as spastic, bossy, overbearing, panic-stricken, egotistical and crazy.
- A form of animal resembling a human female; bridezillas can easily be identified in the wild by their wide eyes, unruly hair, a natural affinity for craft stores and an insatiable desire for perfection.
Origin: 1995- present; <Old English bryd; <Japanese zilla;
Etymology: Modern slang
My best friend made me go to every thrift store in the metropolitan area to find 300 white plates, she has turned into a total bridezilla.