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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Oh Target, you fickle fiend.

If you’ve never heard of The Five Love Languages (and no, I am not talking about the Romance Languages) then stop!
Go take this quiz and read up on the love languages here.
If you are too lazy to take the quiz, then I’ll quickly sum it up for you. This great book explains that people have specific ways in which they prefer to give and receive love. The five primary means we show our love for others include: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, quality time and, my personal favorite, gifts.
It’s important to know which love language is your language of choice because it can really improve your relationship. For example, if your husband shows his love through acts of service and you show your love through giving gifts, he may be changing your oil and washing your car but you are not feeling loved because he never brings you flowers. Conversely, he is not feeling loved because you may be showering him with gifts but all he really wants is a simple act of service, such as making his favorite dinner.
I grew up in a home where gift giving is a very big deal. We give (and receive) gifts on nearly every holiday. St. Patrick’s Day, Valentine’s Day, St. Nick’s Day[1]... to name some of the less conventional holidays we celebrate via gifts.
So what does this all mean? It means I should not be allowed to go into Target during the holiday season.  That place draws me in like a moth to a heat lamp.
You walk in and immediately you are greeted by the cheap-o section.  If you are like me, you take a preliminary sweep and wind up with host of things you don’t actually need with a one-week warranty in your cart. Stickers for your nieces, treats for your dog, socks for  your sisters, and some flimsy plastic bowls for your holiday party.
Stocking stuffers -check!
Next you pass the accessory area, a dangerous area for anyone with an X and a Y chromosome. You grab a scarf for your mother-in-law, a wallet for your coworker and some new gloves for yourself.
Heaven help you if you get anywhere near the Christmas section. A mini Christmas tree that plugs into a USB port!? An ornament of a duck playing hockey?! The PERFECT gifts for so-and-so.
Finally you make your way to the check-out counter where you find some great DVDs for $5... another great stocking stuffer!
Just before you put your items on the conveyer belt, you are seized by panic...
Must eliminate a few items from this cart! Should I get rid of this doggy santa coat? No... Bosco would look too cute in this coat to pass this up! Should I get rid of these light up earrings? No... If I do then I’ll have five gifts for Bonnie and only four for Katrina...
In exasperation you ditch the eggs and milk and wait for the cashier to give you the total. 
$127 dollars later you load up your car with a bunch of junk you didn’t plan on purchasing. As you climb back into the driver’s seat you see the crumpled up shopping list you forgot to bring in with you- there, you see the following:
·         Toothpaste
·         Dish soap

At least I know I’m not alone... someone is going home with those faux fur coats and denim rompers, and something tells me they probably aren’t that happy about their purchases either.
Oh Target, you fickle fiend.  

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[1] If you just asked yourself, “what the heck is St. Nick’s Day?!” Then here is your answer: it is a holiday celebrated in regions of Northern Europe. Old Saint Nicholas leaves candy and trinkets in the shoes of good boys and girls on the morning of December 6th. This tradition has been going on in my family for as long as I can remember, but we receive gifts in our stockings instead of our stinky shoes. Yes, we are the only family I know that celebrates this holiday.


  1. Oh, yes. The last time I was at Target, I walked out of the bargain aisle with three stocking stuffers for my daughter. And I forgot the sugar I needed for my baking. Sigh...

  2. I'm ok if I go to Target, but this is exactly why I no longer go into Walgreens!

  3. I love your sense of humor. I have the opposite problem. I loathe shopping. Even cyber-Monday gives me chills as if my laptop screen might give off some subconscious message that directs me to browse websites for stuff I don't want. I don't even like to buy things I actually need. I ought to go out shopping with you - learn how to have fun with it. :)

  4. This happens to me all the time! I LOVE Target, and never got to go when I was living in Manhattan (no Target in the city). Now that I moved to the suburbs and have a Target down the block, I go all the time. Every time I walk in, I think about 137 things that I need, and forget all the things I went there for.

  5. I love the Love Languages! My husband is a physical touch and I am a gift giver. We've learned over the years to use each other's love language.

    HOLY CRAP! Target has a USB port Christmas Tree? Can't talk, must get to Target! :)

  6. Thanks for reading guys! Glad you share my pain! Emma, you are lucky, I wish I had your problem!

  7. Target is the Bermuda Triangle for my mind. I ALWAYS forget something and I never leave the place for under a hundred bucks. A Christmas tree that plugs into a USB? I have to have one! Thanks a lot Amanda, now I'm headed to Target. See you $100 later. LOL

  8. I am loving my new Christmas tree ! Thanks for the idea!

  9. See y'all later,...I have to go shopping for St. Nick's Day!!!!

  10. Yes, TOTALLY! Generally if I take a second sweep through the dollar section, I can put things back. I also have made myself not buy unless it's on clearance, so that helps, but you can still tally up a lot on clearance. It's just such a PRETTY store. And I love the 5 love languages, by the way. Makes so much sense and is a great relationship helper!

  11. Target is coming to Canada and this made me excited and scared all at once. So many great impulse buys, so much damage to my wallet.

    1. Yep, that's what I was thinking too. Good thing I don't have a dog to wear a Santa outfit.

  12. Oh, this is so funny, mostly because it's so true! I loved it when you dumped the milk and eggs.

  13. You are definitely not alone. Oh, the buck spot gets me every damn time. My husband always tries to walk quickly past like it's not even there, hoping I won't see it either somehow. :)

  14. I rarely go to Target because there are always 50 things I never knew I needed to have until I got there!

  15. Ah, the siren call of stuff—oooh, look! I'm sure we need this!—paired with money in the checkbook begging to be spent. It is a dastardly pair that used to drive my husband and I right up onto the rocks! I am thankful for the intervention of Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace, but also for the fact that my whole family ranks physical touch and receiving gifts way, way, way down the scale. :-)

    Love your sense of humor and thanks for the smile today!